By the ol’ Watch on the wrist, The Macalope sees that it is once again angry-at-Apple o’clock. Which is to say that it is any one of the 24 hours of the day.

Writing for both the sound and the fury over at Business Insider, Christopher Curley says “I’ve used Apple computers my entire life. Here’s why I’m never buying one again.” (Tip o’ the antlers to Tibor, Nick and Jason.)

Is it because Business Insider pays by the outrage?

I’ve grown up with Apple computers my entire life, starting with a model released the year I was born (1986).

The Macalope has seen a lot of over-the-top claims to have been Apple’s “former biggest fan ever” but so far no one has said they were Mac users right out of the womb.

For most of my life, I’ve been more than just an Apple fanboy — I’ve been an Apple disciple.

Maybe that’s part of the problem. The Macalope has a head shaped like a Classic Mac and even he wouldn’t describe himself as a “disciple”.

I was on that level of frankly embarrassing devotion to Apple…

And now I’m swinging entirely the other way. Please take me seriously.

So when I say I’m leaving Apple computers behind, it feels a little like leaving the church.

I make lot of my decisions based on emotional attachments! Anyway, here are my very serious reasons for leaving Apple now.

First, a little history.

Ugh, didn’t we just do that? This is like those recipe blogs that go on and on about some childhood story before giving you their precious secret to buttered spaghetti.